Archive for December, 2009

CAT 2010

// December 16th, 2009 // Comments // Old

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As you all know the CAT went online this year and it has been quite a ride… Below are possible changes that you can expect in 2010 as a result of this years learning’s….

1. IIM-Prometric tie up has been terminated. Applications are invited for new test partners. As of now the top contender seems to be PVR Cinemas who claims to handle more traffic in a day than the IIM does during the entire season. PVR CEO Mr Bijili in a statement said that PVR is the right choice for the CAT given their “expertise” in the Online system. The students will now be able to order pop corn as they take their CAT.

2. In case your servers crash.. Don’t panic.. The popular “Orkut” message will now be replaced with – “YES – Both Donuts and Pepsi for you”

3. Sharad Pawar has been made Managing Director of the IIMs with immediate effect. Lalit Modi will be his deputy and together they plan to make CAT 2010 a bigger success than the IPL. The CAT will now follow a standard 20-20 pattern with power plays and refreshment breaks…

4. Our very own favorite Dr Vijay Mallya has announced the start of his yet un named MBA Training institute. Katrina Kaif will be the brand ambassador for this venture and if rumors are to be believed Yana Gupta will take classes on shapes, curves and figures….

5. Mallya Sir also plans to bring back to India, all previous years CAT question papers that Prometric had stolen and planned to auction in various 3rd World countries like Azerbaijan and Bosnia and Herzegovina.

6. IIM has come out with a press statement rubbishing reports that the servers crash was due to over load or a virus attack for that matter. IIMs have a strong reason to suspect an ISI involvement in this daring attack on the future of every Indian student and there might have even been some funding by the Chinese.

7. Next years CAT might very well be conducted in Kabul under the protection of the Taliban. All those who return home are promised an IIM seat.

8. Director of one of the Symbiosis Institutes (Symbi Inst of Mis Communication SIMC) has come out telling that CAT is all rubbish and that SNAP is the most competitive exam in the country. This has infuriated the director of Lovely Professional University who claims no one can match their selection process.

9. Symbiosis Group of Institutes to be very soon renamed Symbiosis Group of Companies. Plan to buy a few more hills lakes villages and slums and turn them into – “Education Destinations”

10. Deadline for SNAP 2009 has been extended for the 8th time this year. A note on the site says (yes you know it) Too many applicants so the servers are busy. At this rate SNAP will possibly have problems of seating suring the exam. The last date is 31 Dec 2009 now. The exam will be conducted on Dec 20th.

Credits : Samarth [http://www.fakingnews.com/2009/11/cat-servers-hacked-students-asked-extremely-personal-questions/]